This morning I sat out on the balcony of our hotel room in Alhaurín de la Torre with my Bible and a note given to me by a friend directly before our departure. Written in the note was the following passage from Titus 2.

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession who are zealous for good works. 

— Titus 2:11–14 (ESV)

The past few months have been stretching; I have been challenged and stirred, awoken and refined, pruned, watered, pruned again… The Lord is doing a continuous work in me, making straight the crooked places and building a new layer upon the edifice of my heart. He is cultivating my internal landscape and plucking away the weeds of self-absorption and self-reliance, making me utterly dependent and fixated on Him.

In preparation for this trip, I was prepared for this process to continue. I knew it would stretch me and expose insecurities and fears that regularly hinder His blessing and peace from flowing in and through my life. After only two days, I can readily confirm this as true. While filled with adventure and enjoyment, these past days have certainly brought to the forefront selfish tendencies and inhibitions that will require pruning and the application of poignant truth.

God, in His infinite grace and wisdom, is calling me higher, requiring me with fresh urgency to lay aside my own wants, desires, and fears, to lay aside my own exhaustion and discomfort, and to seek first His kingdom in blessing and encouraging those around me.

Extremely introverted and reflective, the constant presence of a group has been difficult. I anticipated this and fully expect that it will remain a challenge over the next few weeks. I have a tendency to become drained and overwhelmed in the consistent company of others and require time alone in which to allow my mind to run freely. For the past three days I have been surrounded with people day and night and have certainly found myself craving the refuge of solitude, but in the midst of the challenges accompanying this I have encountered an all-sufficient grace and an ever present help.

The following verse was laid on my heart the day before our departure and has so resonated that I continue to draw comfort and peace from it:

Be to me a rock of refuge, to which I may continually come…

— Psalm 71:5a (ESV)

He is my rock—a solid place on which I can plant my feet and dwell in safety. When stretched beyond my own capabilities and strengths, I find Him ever present, all-sufficient, merciful, gracious, and kind. When stripped of the hiding places of my own construction (solitude and introspection), I find myself held up, sustained, and continually running to the refuge of His design.

As He shapes and purifies me for His purposes and good works, I find that He is a continuous rock of refuge to which I may continually come to be strengthened and filled. I am so thankful today for His faithfulness and grace.